Shit New Yorkers Say

Something interesting happened today...

I had an overwhelming feeling of missing New York.

It all spawned from this video, called "Shit New Yorkers Say" which made me laugh at loud on the bus and get concerned looks from the blokes around me.

I have literally said every single one of those things, numerous times. In one day.

Even including schmuck, which my Jewish boyfriend finds wildly offensive.

The comments on the YouTube video had a stream of very mixed sentiments - some people saying that "real" New Yorkers would never say any of that.

So what makes someone a real New Yorker?

Everyone I meet here asks me where in the States I am from, and without hesitation I reply, "New York." Then I add, well I'm from Ohio, but I lived in New York for the past five years, and it's always felt like my other home.

And it has. New York felt like home from the first day I moved. I arrived no stranger to the city, having spent the past 5 years before moving making bi-monthly trips with my parents to visit my sister who was in school, I knew Manhattan inside out before I got here. From day one I was riding the subway, dining at the local spots, and bumping into people and not apologizing about it.

But I can imagine a lot of people would argue I have no business calling myself a New Yorker since I wasn't born there, I'm not Jewish, and I only lived there 5 years.

So what qualifies someone as a New Yorker? I found this list on Guest of a Guest, and decided to use it to test myself and see.

You can call yourself a New Yorker when you've done the following:

When you can give cab drivers directions.

"73rd and Amsterdam - take 10th all the way uptown and drop me on the NW corner."

When you stop pointing out places you recognize (or even places that are just near your apartment) in movies or TV shows.

Ok, I still do this.

When, if you left for a year, and then returned, your coffee guy/dry cleaner/favorite bartender would remember you.

My bagel guy remembered me after I came back from Paris. I am sure he will remember me, and my order, come next November.

When you know which bars, streets, and even neighborhoods to avoid on the weekends.

And which subway lines are down.

When you stop subletting, or at least have a permanent or long-term sublet.

I had my own year lease, for my own studio, that was the size of a closet. It doesn't get more NY than that.

When you stop being indignant about the cost of rent.

Any place under $2000/month is a steal.

When you've lived through some sort of a disaster, whether it be blackout or blizzard or transit strike or worse...

Does the fake hurricane count?

When a random celebrity sighting isn't worth getting fazed, or even texting about.

I was only phased when I saw Professor Snape in Anthropologie.

When you stop referring to the subway lines by colors, and can name all the stops on any given line.

And what exit to take to be on the correct side of the street.

When you start screaming at cars who almost hit you while you're crossing the street.

Check plus.

When you don't cite Annie Hall or Sex and the City as your favorite New York movies.

You've Got Mail.

Your family comes to visit you in New York, instead of you flying out constantly.

Almost monthly.

When you have a bagel place.

24th and 8th, Brooklyn Bagel. Best cinnamon rasin walnut cream cheese in the city.

You don't care about walking into moving traffic because you are a master and the cars will wait for you.

Exactly.

When you can stop bragging about living in New York.

I've only done this a bit...

When you feel incredibly entitled to the city, and annoyed by all the people who have moved to it after you.

True - find your own city.

The one constant about New York is that it's constantly changing, and because of this, New Yorkers are always aware of what's changed, what's different, and what's gone. (Like how the Dallas BBQ on University is now a Chase)

And the Grey Dog on Carmine in gone! Devastating.

And, the one I think really sums it all up:

When you view New York with just as much nostalgia as you do excitement.

Some people view their college years as the most important and memorable in their life. My college years took place in New York. During five years, I think I really became a New Yorker.

So people can say what they want, but I consider myself a New Yorker - even though I'm a Londoner at the moment, and a Parisienne at heart.

And while I love living in London, I do miss my city. Despite all my jokes and eurocentrism, I love New York, probably more than any city in the world. And I do look at New York with just as much nostalgia as I do excitement.

I sort of grew up in New York.

I met my best friends in New York.

I fell in love in New York.

I went to Fashion Week in New York.

I got my first pair of Louboutins in New York.

I got to work at SNL in New York.

I got pooped on by a pigeon in New York.

The list goes on. And on. And on.

So if nostalgia is the true test, then I pass.

With flying, rainbow colors.